The Emotional Executive
How can you develop your emotional intelligence? Here Anthony Landale takes a look at the practical and proven ways that help people to build their EQ and what benefits this can have on themselves, their colleagues and the business.
How can you develop your emotional intelligence? Here Anthony Landale takes a look at the practical and proven ways that help people to build their EQ and what benefits this can have on themselves, their colleagues and the business.
The emotional executive
…we live in a world that is changing shape constantly and is increasingly demanding more from us…
How can organisations meet the challenge of getting people to work together more effectively? Is emotional intelligence (EQ) the answer?
Research suggests that it is. A study by Yale University, for example, found that teams with high levels of EQ outperformed teams with low levels of EQ by a margin of two to one. No wonder businesses are interested.
And it really should be no surprise to find EQ so much in demand. After all we live in a world that is changing shape constantly and is increasingly demanding more from us. Just consider… we work in structures which are much flatter than ever, we have to be much faster on our feet with both colleagues and clients, we work in multi-functional teams and sometimes in virtual teams where it there is enormous responsibility on us to build the relationships we need. And on top of this there is a greater intensity in work.
“…We have expectations of ourselves, of others and of the situations we face.
But where do these expectations come from…”
When people are on top of their game, then this new matrix world is stimulating. Opportunities abound. Entrepreneurial talent flourishes. But when people are under too much pressure then beware. There are dangers of people pulling in different directions, not communicating, losing motivation and making decisions under stress. In this context EQ is the glue that holds people and teams together.
So how can people develop their EQ?
Illumine Training is a leading provider of EQ programmes and, according to programme leader, Helen Whitten, one of the first principles for us to recognise is that how we think directly affects how we feel.
“A simple way to illustrate this is by considering our expectations,” explains Whitten. “We have expectations of ourselves, of others and of the situations we face. But where do these expectations come from? Typically we developed them at a young age, picked them up from our parents and they became our norms. But such expectations can be extremely unhelpful. Why should other people behave in the way we expect? That is why I encourage people to dispute their thinking and check their judgements. If they can ask themselves whether their attitude is helpful in them achieving their goal it can be very freeing. People with a high EQ develop the facility to choose their emotions rather than letting their feelings rule them.”
…It is about developing that capacity to step into someone else’s shoes, see what their experience is like and so build genuine understanding…
So are all emotions inappropriate? Of course not. People want to know what we care about, passion and energy in the workplace are prized assets and our ability to engage with others is essential to our success at work. But there are some emotions – such as anger and fear – that not only get in the way of our own performance but can also impact negatively on others. So how do we deal with these?
“Once we know where our emotions come from it can help us gain some measure of control,” suggested Whitten “but it is also sometimes necessary simply to acknowledge how we feel. We may have strong emotions in certain situations and there is nothing wrong with that. But we need to express them appropriately.”
Whitten is also prepared to challenge the male cultures which drive and characterise so many organisations. “It is more acceptable for men to shout and scream than it is for women to cry. But in many cases these emotions are caused by the same event. So why should one be acceptable and the other not? On my courses I open up such issues with the intention of helping people question their beliefs and assumption and develop their tolerance,” she said.
So on the one hand the development of EQ involves how you self-manage. On the other hand it addresses how you engage with the emotions of others. That is why active listening is such a key skill in EQ and why empathy is also so important. Empathy is about attending to people’s emotional cues. It is about developing that capacity to step into someone else’s shoes, see what their experience is like and so build genuine understanding.
So when individuals develop their EQ does that automatically translate into EQ teams? Unfortunately not. An emotionally intelligent team needs an extra set of skills. This includes being inclusive and working collaboratively, staying open to new opportunities and being adaptable to change. And people within the team also need to be able to engage in direct and honest communication – knowing what they stand for individually and collectively.
…people who are intent of developing their EQ must prioritise the giving and receiving of feedback as a way of developing their social performance…
This issue of communication is fundamental. Communication underpins our relationships and strong relationships are critical for people working in pressurised environments and having to manage change. In this respect people who are intent of developing their EQ must prioritise the giving and receiving of feedback as a way of developing their social performance. And they must be courageous in bringing their feelings into the open – recognising that our feelings provide an important channel to awareness and knowledge.
So should you be developing your EQ? There seems little doubt that people who have trained up in EQ have far more initiative in dealing with organisational life than those who don’t. Stress will always exist at work but EQ gives people the tools and the ways of thinking to manage it to their advantage.
Find out more about our Emotional Intelligence programme at www.illumine.co.uk/emot
Tags: manage relationships, multi-functional teams, passion and energy
